University is overwhelming

I have been a student for the past three years and I have been lucky enough to have a relatively enjoyable experience. My tutors all delivered exactly what I expected, I got the grades I wanted and I had creative control over my choices. 

When it came to choosing to enter a 4th year of study I didn't hesitate to sign up. How naive I was! 

My expectation of structure and stability and consistency was about to be shattered and evaporated, leaving a residue of hope that at some point I would get some answers. 

I enrolled on to a PGCE (level 7) because I wanted to share this joyous three years of experience with new students. I wanted to inspire and help them on their individual learning journey. I had high hopes of being part of somebody else's creative process. 

Now in hindsight,  I should have recalled my first FE experience on animal care, when I was asked why I wanted to do the course I said; 

"I want to save all the animals and stop animal cruelty" 

Now this statement is admittidly ambitious and unrealistic, but it is also completely accurate to my aims and expectations of enrolling on that course. 

I learned some basic skills of care and handling (how to pick up various animals etc) but I was crushed with disappointment at the end of the year , when I was just the same teenager in a band Tshirt and beat up converse, no richer in power for my educational experience despite my dedication to my 

original aim of saving every animal ever. 

The same could be said for my PGCE.  In the first week the following errors occurred. Starting with the most challenging;

1. The course I had enrolled to teach for - was cancelled and no longer running.

2. No other courses in my specialist subject were running either. 

3. I had no mentor (responsible for you person) for a good two weeks

4.  No access to resources 

5.  Issues with placement 

6.  I wasn't getting replies from anybody I contacted to try and solve these problems. 

It wasn't until the SMT twigged on to how in distress I was that anything was resolved.

Within a week I was given a mentor, resources and lessons to teach which are  connected to my qualifications. So after two weeks of incredible stress everything was fixed almost overnight. 

Which begs the question, why couldn't it have been sorted originally?...

Having asked this question I got told  that I had to be versatile to be a teacher, and FE education (where I am based) is constantly changing anyway. Therefore I needed to be open to change and adaptable in my approach.

Although all of these statements are true , I am still unsure of how they answer my question. Or if in fact, they answer it at all? 

The work and the placements have made blogging difficult as my time is now stretched thinner than before. But I felt it was an important and justifiable post. 

If you are considering a PGCE specifically or any form of teacher training I would recommend considering these pointers; 

- Source your own Placement. By taking ownership of this responsibility you have control. This is important as this is where practical teaching takes place. 

- Ask a lot of questions at interview stages. Know exactly what they expect of you and what they can ACTUALLY offer you. Don't be fobbed off with excuses or contacts. 

- Make sure the providers of the PGCE meet your needs too. You are a client as much as any other student. 

- Consider your employment, the course demands time for assignments ontop

Of lesson planning, evaluations,

Reflections, marking, grading and assessments. It is a big commitment that demands a lot of time. 

- Read widely and use your initiative. Most teaching thirty lessons are 1 lesson a week, and once everyone has asked loads of questions and opened discussions those lessons fly past. If further understanding is required go watch a tutorial on YouTube, talk to other colleagues or students, read, observe etc. 

- Review other courses to make sure this is for you. Petals, lavender and teach first are other paths into this career which can work better for some people with different circumstances. Some of these courses offer Part time oppertunities also. 

Most of all, know your needs and expectations. Identify your own personal ambitions and challenge yourself to achieve them in the best environment for you. 

I do not regret enrolling  on my PGCE but it has been and continues to be a challenge of will, strength and determination. 

It takes more than good grades to be a teacher. I am only a few weeks in but I will blog more about this as a process in due course. The challenge is the hardest but best element of teaching for me, constantly having to be 100% on point. 

Could you do it? 

-

Time to Waste

Yesterday was the first time in a long while I had some free time. Actual time where nothing was on a deadline or when my time was promised to anyone else. 

Time to waste is not only an excellent song title. It's also exactly what I wanted to do. So much of my time is dictated by schedules, timetables and rota's. For once if I wanted to waste my time - I could! But it comes with the fear of not being productive enough, because I don't know when the next oppertunity to have free time will come up. 

There is a lot of self doubt at the preposterousness of this rationalisation. 

I felt guilty at the prospect of being able to be a little self indulgent, but I needed to have that time to really recharge my body and brain. 

It's been a busy few weeks and I've done what I always do, plough on through and work hard, even when I have a lot on my plate already. 

It did catch up with me and I have been flagging these past few days. 

So anyway, what did I do with my spare time you ask? 

I baked Florentines, I walked Alfie Moon (yep he is named after him, no I don't regret it) and I bought a magazine - something I try to consciously NOT do. I allowed it on this occasion because this semester I'm teaching writing for advertising so it seemed like legit research... 

I considered going swimming, or tackling the ridiculous wardrobe situation - it's like a clothes edition of Jenga/Kerplunk in there...

But I didn't once feel okay about any of my day "off". I felt like I was being really selfish just because free time is SO precious now. I made it productive, I did my errands and I painted my nails and wasted time watching Catfish and CSI. But I felt this overwhelming pressure to be somewhere else - work maybe or uni - and I couldn't fully enjoy it at all. 

Yet when I'm somewhere else, busy and stressed, I long for a day like yesterday. I sit and think how much money I'd pay to have a PA for a day to do all my jobs for me so I could have a "leisure day". Surely I'm not the only one? 

I made some decisions. Which I hope will help change my mindset on this issue... 

1. Quality time cannot and should not be measured by the amount of things you cram into one day/afternoon/hour.

2. Value yourself - you deserve the time to do everything OR nothing. 

3. Do not feel compelled to justify or defend your actions to others IRL or on social media. It's your choice. 

4. Make the time work for you. If you can enjoy one hour but not a full day - have the best hour ever doing whatever you want, write, crochet, cartwheels - you get the idea. 

5. It's okay to feel bad or guilty about having time spare. It's just time, it comes it goes. Just appreciate it whilst it lasts. 

I ended up spending a lot of the day panicked about not being productive enough to tell people what I did on my day off. And whatever I said didn't sound like it was substantial for a full day of relaxation and organisation. 

The whole thing was ridiculous but looking back on it it was all completely real and raw to me. Sometimes less is more, and the less time I have spare the more I feel like I need it. Which is what made me evaluate my needs in deeper context, both financially, practically and emotionally. I feel clearer for writing today and the Florentines were pretty delicious.

Plus I now feel like I could be a super sleuth like Nev and Max or Horatio... 

Watch this space!  

I guess what I am trying to say is that time to yourself is important no matter who you are or what you do. We all need time to recharge and reflect. While I'm still learning how to manage and enjoy my spare time, I know it's something I will eventually master. And you should too, or maybe you already can? 

Make time and value yourself. 

You deserve it. 

Visiting The Jungle Zoo , Cleethorpes

After studying animal welfare at college I am usually fairly sceptical of attractions like this, small animal collections which do not usually benefit from the support of larger organisations and charities. But The Jungle was a pleasant surprise. 

On a rainy Saturday in Cleethorpes my daughter announced she needed to meet  a 'tortlouse' today. I remembered visiting The Jungle when it opened years ago and in the hopes it was still there, we set off. There is lots of parking available (although you do have to pay for it) and it is accessible from local bus routes without too much extra walking. 

Admission was £4.00 for adults and slightly less for children. Upon entry several blue Macaws were ready to greet us with hellos and bobbing dancing. 

We then met the desired tortlouse or tortoise to you and me. 

( the glass made it hard to get a good photograph ) 

We then found nobody in the tank next door, but a note which said the rhinoceros iguana was on its daily stroll - and you can go say hi and give him a stroke! 

He was very friendly but entirely unsupervised by staff from to zoo - worth noting if you are visiting with toddlers and small children. 

The main body of the zoo was really humid and at the tropical temperatures required by the various birds inside. 

Outside, we found chipmunks which you could feed. 

 

This is again unsupervised but the bars are small enough for a small finger to get through, take caution with excited young children. 

The Zoo also had more domestic animals like these guinea pigs, chickens, a goat and a pig! 

We also found some meerkats, by far my favourite animals of the day! Mothers and babies on century duty. They had an open enclosure and lots of tunnels to hide in. 

Opposite these guys was a large enclosure with two monkeys in, who threw all their toys around a lot, needless to say we didn't stop there too long incase they ran out of toys to throw ... 

The next enclosure housed a large raccoon 

And further round the corner we found two ring tailed lemurs huddling from the rain. 

Seen as it was raining, we headed inside to the reptile house. 

They had Alligators and large snakes as well as several Creepy Crawlies. 

Overall we spent just over an hour at the zoo, there weren't any demonstrations or talks about the animals, much of the Zoo is unsupervised which makes it feel more like a collection. When I did find someone who worked there, they told me that many of the animals are donated by people who bought them as exotic pets and could no longer care for them when they reached adulthood. 

The animals are all clearly cared for and fed, the admission was reasonable and it isn't hard to get to. The Jungle Zoo was a good afternoon out for us but could use a few more attractions to make the experience a little more interactive and educational. 

The Big Mop Chop

Like many people, I grow my hair, enjoy it for a short period of time, run out of ideas, get fed up with it taking an hour to dry. You get the picture. Inevitably I get a annual short cut. 

Here is my before photo...

Occasionally I drive home with my sunnies on, in tears of instant remorse for the cut. But this time I actually really like it. I had about 6 inches off and kept my full fringe for now. 

This was how the hairdresser styled it, with a diffuser. Here's what it looked like after ...

This is how I have it day to day. Dried naturally with a little serum on to control frizz. 

It's so light and easy and most importantly - low maintenance. I do miss the length and I feel very exposed without hiding behind my hair. But it's takes around 15 mins to dry and style now, which is a huge improvement.

I'm planning to do some more posts on how short hair doesn't mean you have less options. 

 

So keep checking the blog out for tutorials and let me know if you have any requests for updo's or specific styles. 

:) x 

Visiting Waltham Windmill

As you probably know by now I am really passionate about supporting local businesses around my hometown community. 

Last weekend we headed out to Waltham Windmill, a windmill with shops, play areas, a museum and an impressive restaurant. I mentioned the windmill in a previous post "Visiting Wren and Ivy" and thought this would be a good oppertunity to show some of the other attractions at the Windmill Site. 

This weekend they had a locomotive day and ran the miniature railway, which has been there since I was a little girl (20 something years ago). The trains are run and maintained by a team of dedicated volunteers and enthusiasts who tirelessly give their time to provide train rides for children for 60p a go. 

We went to the railway cafe for a light lunch 

We also visited a traditional sweet shop, my daughter got some snowies! And refused to share... 

Lastly we visited the Museum of Rural Life, In Lincolnshire this is largely connected to the Lincolnshire bomber piolets in the RAF. 

The Museum is incredibly old and slightly creepy (without stating the obvious!) but it hasn't changed at all since I came as a youngster. 

Here are some snaps 

There is so much to see and do here and you can even buy flour from the windmill itself. The museum runs entirely on donations and volunteers, as does the railway. We all had a great day out and got some culture too.